


Amazing Grace

by jamezverusaum



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Gabriel, F/M, Human Gabriel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:31:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7558447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamezverusaum/pseuds/jamezverusaum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader has been missing Gabriel for months when she finds his feather in the bunker. What happened to him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once was Lost

You were sitting on your bed in the bunker. Crying again for what seemed like the hundredth time. Gabriel had been missing for months now. Not even Cas knew where he was. Your brothers, Sam and Dean, had been in to check on you since you found a gold feather, one of Gabriel’s in the library earlier while cataloging the books with Same. You had instantly burst into tears and just left. You looked down at the feather in your hand and sighed, sliding it under the pillow and then curling up to cry yourself to sleep., as you had so many other nights since this began.

When you awakened, it was to a smell of burnt sugar. You wondered if the boys had been trying to cook again. You stood slowly and then froze as you heard your name breathed out near your ear.  
“Y/N..”

It was barely a breath, barely a growl. You jumped and turned around, reaching for the gun you kept you kept on your desk when a hand shot out, wrapping around your wrist and pushing you against the wall. You opened your mouth to scream when the other hand covered your mouth. “Don’t..” the voice said again. You recognized the timber, the sweet voice and tears filled your eyes.  
“Gabriel?” You whispered behind the hand. The hand fell from your mouth.

“Hello, sugar..” He whispered softly as you threw your arms around him and clung onto him for dear life. He wrapped his arms around your lower back and held you close to him, slowly rubbing circles against your skin. “Missed me I see.”

“Where have you been?” You asked him, pulling back to look at him. He closed his eyes and turned to look away from you. You reached to turn on the light and his hand stopped you from doing it.  
“Don’t..not..just don’t..” He pleaded softly to you.

You looked at him quizzically, confusion written on your face as you lay your hand on cheek. He nuzzled into your hand and kissed your palm softly. “I don’t want you to see what I’ve become..”  
“What are you talking about? Where have you been?” He laughed bitterly and turned the light on quickly.

“You’re going to wish you hadn’t wanted this..” He trailed off and turned to look at you. In place of those eyes that were whiskey colored, were black.

You sucked in a breath and turned to run to the door, this couldn’t be happening. Gabriel was a demon. No. Please no. His hand on your wrist stopped you from running out that door and pulled you to him.

“What’s a matter? Don’t love me anymore?” He growled, leaning in and kissing you deeply. Your knees turned to jelly as your body betrayed you, wrapping your arms around him and kissing him back. Your mind screamed at you to stop, but you couldn’t. You’d missed him. How could an Archangel turn into a demon though?

“How?” You finally asked when you pulled away from the kiss. You saw his eyes and they were his normal color again. 

Gabriel shook his head at the question and tugged you closer. “Later..” He growled against your ear as he pushed you against the wall again. 

You nodded and just let your eyes watch him as you slowly moved in to kiss you roughly, tugging and pulling at your mouth with his, moaning softly into the kiss. You felt him make short work of your clothes. Normally he’d just snap them off when you made love. But this..this wasn’t that. This was different now. You slid your hands over his chest and up along his face as you kissed, grunting as he pushed you against the wall more firmly, pulling your leg up to sit on his naked hip. When had he taken his clothes off?

The question left your mind though when you felt him enter you, hilting inside of you in one thrust. You gasped at his quickness, usually he made sure you were ready for him. To make sure you were wet enough so it wouldn’t hurt. You realized your Gabriel wasn’t here any longer when he thrust hard into you grunting against your lip, nipping at them as you whimpered. He kissed along your neck as you both moved together, growling into your ear. “Mine, Y/N..you’re mine..”

“Yes Gabriel, only yours..” You breathed out, holding onto him and shivering.

He had you many ways that night, knowing you’d be bruised and sore in the morning, but you oddly didn’t care. You had missed him so badly, and wanted him back. You brought each other to new heights of pleasure. You fell into a deep sleep after he was finally finished with you. He held you into his chest and stroked your hair as you slept.

The next morning you woke alone in bed and fully clothed once more. You looked down at yourself where the bruises should be, but none were there. You were extremely sore though. You wondered if it was a dream. But the smell of burnt sugar lingered in the air. You slid your hair up into a pony tail as you left your room, wondering if the boys heard anything. Knowing they wouldn’t let you hear of the end of it if they did. But no, Sam was making breakfast and Dean was sipping his coffee at the table.

What the hell exactly had happened? Was it a dream? It must have been. That only made you hurt more as you realized it. You must be sore from training the day before. You sighed and picked at your food.


	2. Now am Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You keep having those dreams..what is going on?

It had been a year since Gabriel had first come to you as a demon. Something you still weren’t completely sure was a dream or of it in fact happened. Especially considering how sore you were the next morning. That was just the first night. Many more followed that. Sometimes you could see his black demon eyes when you were together, and sometimes they were that beautiful gold color that drew you to him when he was still an angel. You always awoke alone the next morning, feeling lost and heartbroken.

You kept it to yourself what had happened night after night of course. Sam and Dean wouldn’t have understood and you were terrified to tell Castiel. Afraid he would tell your brothers. You researched angels turning into demons on your own in the library. Not much could be found however, and it bothered you a lot. It made you wonder if he was just in fact dead and you somehow had these dreams, except they were almost like a nightmare because you could never have imagined Gabriel as a demon. 

You were alone in the bunker when you heard the familiar rustle of feathers and the smell of ozone as Castiel appeared. He walked over to the table and sat down heavily in the chair at the library table where you were reading a book about angel grace and how it performed like a soul. You were startled when he appeared, never having gotten used it. What bothered you more was he looked so distraught and he hadn’t said a word to you. You got scared immediately, wondering if something to Sam and Dean.

“Cas?” You said in a strangled voice as you got up and rounded the table to stand beside him. “What’s wrong, what happened?” You looked at him and put your hand on his shoulder.

Castiel looked startled to see you there. His eyes troubled. “Where are Sam and Dean, y/n?”

“Getting groceries, I stayed home to finish cleaning the kitchen and read. What’s going on, Cas?” You felt slightly better knowing it had nothing to do with the boys. You saw struggling to tell you or not as he reached out to take your wrist.

“You should sit down.” His gravelly voice rumbled. You took the chair our and sat down. He flicked his eyes to yours and sighed. “This is not easy to say..I’ve found Gabriel..”

Your eyes lit up. “Where is he? Can I go see him? Is he all right?” You immediately stood and heard the noise of the boys coming in, hearing them call for you. “In the library, Cas is here! He says he’s found Gabriel!” You couldn’t help the excited tone your voice held. You had just seen him in your bed last night when you fell asleep. But it had to be a dream, right? Gabriel as a demon couldn’t be something that had actually happened.

“Y/N really?” Dean questioned as he came in after setting the groceries in the kitchen, Sam on his heels.

“Cas where did you find Gabriel? Is he all right? Take me to him.” You all but demanded and he shook his head.

“Y/N..he’s somehow, I don’t know how it happened, but he’s a demon.” Castiel said quietly.

Sam and Dean looked struck and you sat hard on the floor, tears in your eyes. Gabriel was a demon. So it really was him that kept coming to you. You broke down and started sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments give me air. And hell hound puppies. =)


	3. Was Blind but Now I see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out

You knew you had to come clean with them all and drew in a few shaky breaths as you sat on the couch, your head in your hands and sniffed.

“Uhm..I need to tell you something.” You whispered brokenly as Cas, almost in as much shock as you explained how sometimes, even Archangels could be corrupted, to Sam and Dean. They all stopped talking when you finally spoke, having been very quiet the entire time.

“He’s..been coming to me. I don’t know if he was dreamwalking or..if he was really here but. He would appear in my room..almost every night for the past year..and..” You trailed off and didn’t look up.

Dean went into full overprotective mode. His voice raising as he stood in front of you, “What the hell do you mean he came to your room? What were you doing? Did he hurt you?”

You barely looked up at him when you spoke next. “No..he didn’t hurt me..really and we..well..” You blushed a deep scarlet, it was still hard to tell your big brother you were having sex with Gabriel when he was hanging around before. And now that he was a demon and you kept it to yourself?

“What do you mea..” He trailed off and let you go, looking hurt and betrayed. “What the hell is it with you and Sam fucking demons?!?!” He yelled at you.  
“DEAN!” Sam and Cas both screamed at him.

That broke you right there. You shut right down and looked him straight in the eyes, tears streaming down on your face as you turned on your heel and left the room.

“Y/N!” Sam yelled as he tried to grab your arm, him being much taller than you he caught up quickly. Not being a slouch when it came to training, you used your smaller size to quickly grab Sam and push him away. He looked startled, though he shouldn’t, he showed you that move.

“Don’t.” You said flatly. Turned and walked into your room grabbing your jacket and keys and made it out to the garage. You checked to make sure your wallet was in your pocket and then got behind the wheel of your jeep, slamming the door and peeled out of the garage. Not caring at the moment about much of anything.

You drive for a long time settling your mind. Well past dinner. You went through a drive thru to grab some food and parked the car on a hill and tried to eat your burger, sipping at your soda. The thing was when you got upset you didn’t eat. You watched a family of ducks waddle down to the lake nearby and threw them your food, not paying attention. It was not like you. So many thoughts ran through your head. 

The smell came over your senses and a sound. You knew who it was. You always knew. “Gabriel..” You said softly. Now more on guard then you had ever been before. You turned your eyes to him slowly and he sat there, his eyes black and simmering fury radiating off of him. “Cas saw you. Tell me, were you dream walking or were you really there?”

Gabriel had the good sense to at least seem like he was sorry he was caught this way and shrugged. “Does it matter, sugar?” His voice a little lower as he moved towards you.

Your eyes widened in fear and without thinking yelled, “Cristo!” grabbing the holy water from your jacket and salt, your hands shaking.

He flinched and moved back to his side of the truck. “C’mon, y/n. Your hunter senses had to have been screaming at you for the last year. And we had so much fun..” he trailed off, his eyes raking your body from head to toe.

As much as you hated it, he always made you feel wanted. Something lower in you clenched and you sighed. You put the salt and holy water back in your jacket and slid it off as you sat there. You didn’t have the strength to look back to him for a few moments and then turned to look at him again. His eyes had slid back to the whiskey amber they always were. You faltered and crawled over to him, claiming his mouth with your own. Everyone had been to hell in your family anyhow. Why shouldn't you go down as well?

Later as you lay naked on his chest, he held you close, kissing your hair, running his hand over your back softly. You knew it was past midnight now, the windows in the truck fogged over from your lovemaking. Dean and Sam would be besides themselves and Cas too. You felt almost guilty in that, knowing he couldn’t find you with the necklace you grabbed as you walked out, wrapped around your wrist with symbols to hide you from them.

“I need to go home..” You trailed off..hearing your cell phone vibrate for the hundredth time since you left the bunker. Gabriel nodded and you didn’t move, he turned your face towards him and opened your mouth to ask the question and he shook his head. Claiming your mouth as you moved atop him once more.  
After you had both dressed and Gabriel left you drove back to the bunker. You knew what had to be done. He had promised to come to you tomorrow night. Regardless of how pissed the boys were going to be at you. You knew what you had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one. Again kudos and comments give me life. =)


	4. Through many dangers, toils and snares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is made..

When you walked into the bunker with your jacket over your shoulder, your hair still mussed from sex in the truck, your lips still swollen. Dean got even more pissed off. “Y/N! You had us worried sick and you off fucking him?” He barked out like a drill sergeant. You didn’t even think around and Dean never saw it coming when you clocked him. You were little but you learned to throw your weight into the punch from Dean himself.

“Do not treat me like an idiot, Dean.” You growled at him. You had dropped your jacket and pointed at him and then looked over at Sam and Cas who had both remained silent. Even if you had acted stupidly, you were at your wits end finally with everything. Now, are you going to help me cure him, or just stand there pissed your little sister kicked your ass?” You glared at Dean who was moving his jaw slowly to see if you had broken it. 

You got the paint and with Castiel’s help moved your bed as Dean and Sam made the blood run and set up the cell in the dungeon for Gabriel.

You were silent as you worked and didn’t finish the circle completely letting it dry. You kept silent as Castiel tried to make small talk, shaking your head or nodding at his questions. Finally you said, “He’s coming back here tomorrow night. He wouldn’t let me down ..” You trailed off and sighed waiting for the pain to dry.

You and the boys had everything set now. Dean was still pissed at you but he was slowly getting over it. Sam remained supportive along with Cas. They didn’t like the trap wasn’t finished but you explained your plan. When he came back the next night and you got him into the bed which you placed over the demon trap. You would finish it with spray pain, you and Cas both made sure it was big enough to do so and not be seen.

The next night you went to bed early, acting like nothing had changed. You were nervous, especially when Dean commented you only wanted one more roll in the hay with him as a demon. You almost punched him again, Sam slapped him in the back of the head for the comment. That wasn’t true, but you knew if you could get him into the bed you would be able to trap him.

Gabriel did show up but didn’t go near the bed yet, watching you dry your hair as you sat at your desk in your robe. You hadn’t meant to let him come closer to you, you hadn’t meant to let him slide your robe off. And you certainly hadn’t mean to have sex with him again like this. But it was so damn hard, especially after what Dean had said. You laid there for a moment and slowly got up from the bed. 

“Where ya going?” He asked softly, watching your naked body rise from the bed.

“Not far, I promise.” You whispered ad opened the drawer, he quirked an eyebrow, almost in anticipation. Like he expected you to pull out something for fun. Your hand came out with the spray pain and you dropped to your knees and finished the trap. His eyes turned black and he was instantly infuriated trying to move from the bed as you scrambled out, praying to Cas who appeared instantly in a rustle of wings. You quickly got dressed, not caring the angel was in the room. He kept himself between you and Gabriel.

“You fucking bitch.” He growled out.

You had to admit, it hurt to hear him say that to you, but you had to remind yourself, it wasn’t him. Not like that. You threw his clothes at him and walked out of your bedroom and into the war room, sinking into a chair. “He’s in there, Cas has him.” You said quietly to your brothers who instantly ran off to take Gabriel down to the dungeon.

You heard Gabriel yelling at you, telling you he should have snapped your neck, and saying awful things. You shook, pushing your hair from your face. His yelling died down you cried again. You knew this next part was going to be hard.

You walked down to the dungeon and opened the door. There was Gabriel sitting in the chair, chained down with straps with Sam giving him the first injection.  
“I ever tell you how sweet your sister’s ass is?” His black eyes flicked to Sam and Dean.

“Get out, y/n!” Castiel said.

“Yes get out, lover..I have so many more secrets to spill. You don’t want to hear them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this. Please leave kudos and comments, it would mean a lot to me.


	5. His word, my hope secures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cure

You stayed through it all. The entire cure, the taunts and baiting. His words sliced deep into you. Exposing the secrets you had with him when you had sex. It was hurtful. But you knew it wasn’t him.

“You really think you want your angel back? I wasn’t good before I became a demon. What makes you think I’m not ruined for good?”  
You remained silent and never rose to his comments.

It took longer than usual, but you knew if you didn’t, you’d never forgive yourself. You had given Cas the bit of grace that Gabriel had given you a long time ago. It wasn’t much but for an Archangel, it was powerful.

Gabriel had gone silent after the last injection, his eyes on the floor. Castiel reached out and Gabriel flinched as Cas touched him, using his grace to probe into him. “He’s no longer a demon..” he trailed off, taking the cap off the vial and putting it near Gabriel’s mouth. It rushed back into him and Gabriel went into convulsions. 

You ran and untied his straps and shackles, he fell to the floor, still twitching and seizing. “Gabriel!” You cried out in panic, sliding your hand through his hair and pulling his head into your lap. He went still and stopped breathing. Your panicked gaze flew up to Cas. He had said the grace wasn’t enough to even give him his powers back, it was enough to help him remember who he was though. “Don’t leave me Gabriel..please.” You begged him brokenly.

When you got no response you moved to cradle his head to your chest and slowly rocked him, tears flowing from your eyes and sang softly, in your high alto voice, “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me..” you kept rocking him, kissing his firehead softly as Cas turned and had given up. Sam and Dean’s heart ached seeing you in pain like, but were mesmerized by hearing you sing to the Archangel. “I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see.” 

You kept singing. If nothing else, you wanted him to have peace. If he went to Heaven..would he? Now that he is human? Does he have a soul? Would he go to purgatory or hell? 

You shook your head as your thoughts trailed off. You continued to sing to him, sliding you hand through his hair gently. “When we’ve been here ten thousand years. Bright shining as the sun. We’ve no less days, to sing, your Dad’s praise. The when, we’ve first begun..” you sang softly. Castiel crying softly in the corner, Sam and Dean had tears in their eyes.

You swallowed hard and tried to block them out. “Amazing Gabe. How sweet the sound. That saved a Winchester like me. I once was lost, but now I’m found. I was blind, but now I see..” you finished and began sobbing in earnest this time, holding his body to you as you cried.

You changed the words, but the feeling was there, all for him. You still loved him regardless. “Please Gabe..” you begged. “Don’t leave me. I can’t do this alone.”

You kept rocking him as you sat there on the floor. An hour passed, you ignored the boys and Cas.  
"Please..I love you, Gabriel." You begged softly. Just a little longer.

 

A shuddering breath was heard by your ears and you looked down, golden orbs opened to look at your face.

“Y/N? You..sang for me?” Gabriel said weakly.

“I will always sing for you.” You returned softly. Sliding your thumb along his cheek, kissing his forehead softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me motivation


	6. As Long as Life Endures

They got Gabriel settled into your bed in the room you had both shared before he disappeared. You wouldn’t leave his side for long. He slept, a lot. It was strange to watch him do so. You had never seen Gabriel sleep before. But then again, he hadn’t been human before.

Cas was the one who finally convinced you to leave the room. You were sitting on the bed next to Gabriel, holding his hand and just watching him. He promised to come get you when Gabriel awakened. You smiled briefly at him and wandered into the kitchen.

“C’mon, Y/N, you should eat and lay down for a while.” Sam urged you to sit down at the table.  
“Just a grilled cheese, Sam. I don’t have much of an appetite for much else.” You said softly. 

He nodded and went about making you the sandwich and some orange tomato soup. You were too exhausted to protest, figuring he was right. You’d need a little more on your stomach anyhow. You grabbed one of the beers from the fridge and opened it, taking a sip as you sat back down. 

“Where’d Dean go?” You finally asked him. You had barely spoken to him as he left the room after depositing Gabriel on your bed. He hadn’t been happy about it and surprisingly hadn’t commented other than Gabriel was heavy for a short guy. 

“He went to get more beer.” Sam said softly, walking over and placing the soup and sandwich in front of you. 

You kept your hand on the beer and took a long swallow from it, feeling the alcohol hit you a bit hard since you hadn’t eaten anything since the night you left the bunker three days before. You hadn’t slept either. Barely had drunk any water. You merely nodded and picked at your sandwich before realizing you were indeed extremely hungry. You finished the sandwich and most of the soup.

Sam said nothing as you ate, quietly eating his sandwich. He knew you wouldn’t be able to deal with talking right now. Not after everything. You had barely finished half the beer when you were having a hard time keeping your eyes open. 

Sam stood up and walked over to you, urging you to get up. You shook your head, not knowing why before finally standing, swaying a bit where you were. Sam caught you as you collapsed and began crying. You had kept this secret, and all these emotions inside for so long. You couldn’t handle it anymore. 

Sam picked you up, sitting on the floor, holding and rocking you as you cried, murmuring softly that it was going to be all right to your head. He kept stroking your hair gently as he spoke. You finally quieted as you fell into a dreamless heavy sleep. Exhaustion and alcohol speeding you towards rest. Sam sat for a little bit to make sure you were out. He stood after realizing you were quite asleep and carried you into one of the extra bedrooms. He covered you up after depositing you carefully. 

He made sure to swipe your phone so nothing could wake you up. Thinking it was better to keep you separated from Gabriel for now. He shut the door behind him and went into the bedroom where Cas was watching over Gabriel.

“How’s he doing, Cas?” Sam asked softly.

Cas had his hand on Gabriel’s head, moving when Sam came in and folded his hands in his lap as he looked over at him. “His human mind is trying to protect him from all the memories he has swirling in his head. He will sleep and rest. When he awakens he will have to learn how to be human.” Cas had a small sad smile on his face. He knew that Gabriel had no better teachers than the Winchesters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments give me motivation.


	7. Grace my fears relieved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel wakes up.

Seven more days passed before Gabriel showed any sign of waking up. You had spent the time reading to him, singing to him, hell you even prayed to him. Anything to bring him back around to you. You were sitting cross legged on the bed by his side, sliding your fingers through his hair for the hundredth time. 

He groaned and you sat up straighter.

“Gabe?” You said in surprise. “Hey.” You slid your hand down his face, dragging your thumb along his cheek.

His eyes barely fluttered open, golden pools of whiskey tried focusing on you. “Y/N?” He said weakly. He blinked a bit and grabbed your hand, squeezing it. “Why are you here?” He looked at you confused, thinking he was in Hell and reliving all of what had transpired to turn him into a demon. He squeezed your hand a bit harder. “Please tell me you didn’t do a stupid Winchester deal?” He growled weakly and moved to sit up.  
You had watched him confused while he spoke and tried to get up. Very confused by what he was saying. “I..where else would I be?” You frowned and winced a bit as he squeezed your hand harder. You prayed to Cas, knowing he was still in the bunker and he appeared by the bed side while you tried to disentangle your hand from Gabriel. “Let go, baby..please” You pleaded softly, tears in your eyes as Cas appeared.

Gabe was startled and dropped your hand after seeing Cas. You quickly stood from the bed, flexing your hand. It had been quick but he was still stronger than you. You swallowed hard as Castiel moved to the bed.

“Gabriel..you’re in the bunker with the Winchesters. Do you not remember the past year?” He reached out, touching Gabriel’s forehead to free the memories from his swirling confused mind. 

You moved to the door and watched quietly, deciding not to leave after all. Sam and Dean came into your bedroom a few moments later. Cas had been in mid conversation with them when you prayed to him.

When they arrived Cas was sitting next to Gabriel on the bed. Gabriel held his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with what had happened. When he looked up to the three of you, he had tears rolling down face. You almost went to him but you were afraid. You backed into Sam’s chest and remained silent.

Seeing the fear on your face, Gabriel buried his face in his hands again. You finally moved to the bed as Cas took his hand from Gabriel’s shoulder. Gabe’s shoulders were shaking as you wrapped your arms around him, kissing his forehead softly. “It’s ok.” You murmured against his head. “It’s going to be ok, Gabriel. I promise.”

Gabriel slid his arms back around you and held onto you. He wasn’t used to feeling all these emotions so intensely like humans did. He kept apologizing, for everything that he had put you through. 

Cas, Sam and Dean all decided to withdraw from the room, to leave the two of you alone.

Once you heard the door shut, you sighed, running your hands soothingly along Gabriel’s back. Gabriel buried his face in your hair and sobbed into your neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, y/n.” he whispered brokenly.

“Gabriel, there is nothing to apologize for. I love you and I’m not going anywhere. We’ll figure this out, I promise.” You whispered back to him. You moved to gently kiss him. You tried not to be hurt when he didn’t return it and just nodded.

Gabriel turned his eyes away from you, but still held desperately to you. He wasn’t used to all of these human feelings. Everything was so much more intense. His stomach growled softly and he moved to look down at his stomach as you let out a soft laugh at his expression.  
“I think you’re hungry. You haven’t really eaten anything since you got turned human. Anything in particular you might want?” You asked him softly, reaching to grab your phone.

Gabriel grabbed your hand and shook his head slightly, moving his hand to snap some food. But nothing happened. His face fell as it finally all hit him hard. He was human. There was nothing he could do about it. He had no Grace, the demon part wasn’t pushing down everything he had gone through. His fingers twitched and looked back to you. 

He looked so lost. He was broken before. But so were you. The two of you had found pieces of yourself in the other to make you whole. Now he was shattered and lost. You had to help him find his way and put him back together.

“What..” Gabriel began and trailed off, looking at the wall. Tears welled up in his eyes again as he looked down.

“Why don’t I get you some food in the kitchen. You want to come with me?” You asked softly, taking his hand as you stood from the bed.  
Gabriel watched you and moved to stand. He gasped softly as the stiffness from not moving in days got to him. You watched him with concern and squeezed his hand. “C’mon..we’ll figure it out.” You said softly.


	8. Grace will lead me home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Gabriel is human. How is he handling it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for Suicidal thoughts. But it turns smutty at the end. You're welcome.

It took time, and a few more breakdowns, but Gabriel was getting the hang of being human. Not that he was happy about it though. You knew it would only be a matter of time before Gabriel would snap again. He hadn’t spoken about what had happened in Hell. Or why he had remained out of contact for so long.

Although the two of you still slept together every night, you had not been intimate. You didn’t try to initiate anything, thinking Gabriel would when he was ready. 

A month went by, and then another. Three months had gone by and it was warming up again outside. The spring rains had started and the first thunderstorm of the year was raging outside as you, Sam and Dean were doing research. Something was wrong with Gabriel. He had gotten quieter and more withdrawn. He hadn’t even been trying to pull pranks lately. 

You knew something was wrong and you couldn’t put your finger on it. You stood without saying anything to your brothers and went looking through the bunker for Gabriel. 

Not even finding him upstairs, you went to the door and opened it, seeing him standing there staring up at the sky and soaked through. Thunder boomed and lightning crackled through the sky. You jumped a bit. The wind was whipping more and you were reminded of the times Gabriel had taken you flying through one of these violent storms. It was one of the scariest things that you had gone through. Monsters were something you could deal, the force of nature though, not so much.

You were also reminded of how Gabriel had glided through the winds with his wings stretched, being buffeted back and forth as you clung to him. How the lightning reflected in his eyes, making them glow even more. He had an almost feral look, like he was wild and free. You saw how much he enjoyed it.

Another lightning bolt flashed across your vision and broke a tree branch by the bunker. It was going to come down and Gabriel was staring at it. You could see his mouth moving, but the wind carried his voice away. 

You opened the door and ran out, tackling Gabriel around his waist and pulling him off his feet. Both of you tumbling to the ground in the mud and rain as the tree branch snapped off and crashed to the ground where Gabriel had been standing.

He just lay there, breathing heavily, his shoulders and body shaking. You on the other hand were furious. Adrenaline pumping through your veins you crawled over to him and turned him onto his back. “What the hell do you think you were doing? You could have died, you idiot!”

He just looked up at you defeat and resignation in his face and eyes. “So what? You should have just let it kill me. At least it would have been over.” He turned his face away from you and rolled back onto his stomach, not moving to get up but shaking as the cold rain was soaking him through.

You felt like you were kicked in the stomach at his words. All the anger drained away from you. That he would actually consider suicide. You pushed the wet hair from your face as you moved to stand. Walking back over to him, ignoring the rain drops hitting you like knives made of ice. You were both going to catch cold out here. You were already soaked through at this point yourself and started to shiver. You had no words at the moment as you knelt by him, moving your head down to put your mouth by his ear.

“Gabriel, please come inside. We’ll talk this out..” You said loud enough for him to hear you.

Gabriel twisted out of your grip, scrambling to stand away from you. His shoulders hunched as he stood there. “Just go, Y/N. Let me be.” He said hollowly.

You jumped as thunder boomed and lightning tore across the sky. Your eyes darted around, knowing it was close again. Not seeing it actually hit anything close by. You wandered over to him and grabbed his arm. “No. If you stay out here, then so will I. We will die together then.” You said firmly to him.

His eyes looked at you in horror that you would give your life up for him. After everything that you had been through to bring him back, you wished he could see that.

“Gabriel, I didn’t fight to bring you back for you to die like this. I know being human sucks, believe me. We will fix this. We will find a way to fix this.” You looked up into his eyes as he watched you. “And if we can’t, you are always going to be wanted. You will have a home.” You reached your hand up and dragged your thumb along his cheek, switching to Enochian when you spoke next. “You will always be loved by me, Gabriel. You are my home. Let me be your home in return. Like I once was. I don’t care if you get your powers back. I want to grow old with you, as old as a hunter can be, with you by my side. Please. Not like this. Never again, my love.” You confessed to him.

The storm raged around the both of you as he looked startled at your words and confession. Even at the switch to Enochian. Having vaguely recalled teaching you how to speak it when you were in bed together before. Was he dreaming? Did she really want him like this, forever? A Human forever? His eyes searched yours for some answer. Anything. Having found it he leaned down and capturing your lips with his mouth and deepened the kiss almost immediately.

Something low in you tightened and you moaned softly into his mouth, framing his face with your hands and slowly broke the kiss. “Make love to me Gabriel. Take me and make me yours.” You whispered, your words hot as your breath and he pulled you back up into another kiss.

A feral growl broke out of his mouth as you both stood there kissing, his grip tightening on your skin and pulling you back up onto his body. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he held tightly to you and moved towards the door, shutting it as he walked you down the back steps into the showers. Shutting the door behind you both in there, you both made short work of your clothes. Even giggling some as you tried peeling the wet jeans from your body.

The giggle turned into a moan as Gabriel hovered over you and kissed you, pressing you into the floor. You felt him hard against your stomach and growled softly into his mouth. Gasping softly as he entered you and shivering against him after finally getting your jeans off. You had turned the shower on and steam was in the filling the room. He picked you up, wrapping your body around him instinctively as he worked you on his shaft. Enjoying the sounds coming out of your mouth as he thrusted shallowly into you.

He pressed you against the wall to steady himself. Looking at you writhe and moan against him as you both moved together. “You’re beautiful, y/n.” He moaned softly against your mouth. You blushed at his words, as you always did. “You’re mine, y/n. Mine now and forever.” He said between kisses as he thrust into you.

You didn’t what it was but got lost in the sensations going through your body. Something about knowing he was human and mortal made the sex so much better for the moment. Feeling his skin against yours. Maybe it was the words coming out of his mouth, maybe it was the fact he almost died and had wanted to. Whatever it was it released the spring that had been coiling in your stomach and you came hard around him, yelling his name and sobbing at the same time with the force of the orgasm. Gabriel thrusted in and out of you a few more times before he followed you over the edge, filling you. 

You groaned and held tightly to him, shaking and holding him close, kissing his head softly. “Love you, Gabriel. Yours forever.” Kissing him deeply and breathing hard. In that moment, you knew without a shadow of doubt, that this wasn’t ever going to change. You would always need him, just like he would always need you.

The next morning you awakened in Gabriel’s arms in your bed. He was still sleeping soundly, curled around your back and holding you close to his chest. You realized that he was human now, and you were going to have to be more careful. You sighed and turned in Gabriel’s arms, feeling him tighten them around your back and snuggling closer into you. Later, you’d go to the drugstore later. You did not want to bring a child into this cluster fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are like cookies.


	9. Taught my heart to fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel adjusts to being human

Gabriel became more like himself as the weeks passed. More ready to smile and even helped you with research. Whenever you tried to get an answer out of him about how he wound up as a demon, his eyes darkened and he wouldn’t answer you. You let it drop finally. Gabriel would tell you when he was ready to. After all the researching you still couldn’t figure out how to restore his grace. Castiel was working on it as well.  
Gabriel had begun training with your brothers and yourself. Even though he knew how to handle himself, he had relied too much on his powers before. Now that he was human, he had to learn how to handle it if he came on hunts. He wasn’t thrilled about Dean training with him and for good reason. Dean was still pissed off over everything, he had let it fester and took it out on Gabriel when they trained together.

Finally, Gabriel had enough after Dean had broken his ribs. You were more than a little annoyed with both of them. Mostly because you were the one that had to listen to Gabriel gripe about the pain. You demanded the two of them sack up and get over it. You refused to eat dinner with them that night and they worked out their differences finally.

As spring moved into summer, you had all fallen into routines together. You had cases, you researched with help from Gabriel and Cas as they leant their knowledge to help you all out. You all went on hunts once Dean and Sam decided Gabriel was not a liability. Although Gabriel wasn’t thrilled you went on them. He only voiced his concerns though at night when you were alone together. 

You hadn’t been feeling well the past few days but decided to go with Sam and Dean alone on a simple salt and burn a few towns over. Cas and Gabriel stayed at the bunker to try to find out how to restore Gabriel’s grace. You had also secretly hoped that the two could speak about what had happened to Gabriel during his time in Hell. 

For the first time ever you got carsick on the way out of town. Luckily you hadn’t thrown up in Baby herself though, Dean would have killed you for that. Sam and Dean almost turned around to make you stay home. You promised to be good and stay in a hotel room if you got too sick to go with them once they got into town. 

You decided to stay in the motel room while the guys went and took care of the case. You steeled yourself since you were alone and went to the drugstore a block away. You picked a few things up for your stomach and your eyes drifted to the pregnancy tests as you picked up some condoms for you and Gabriel for when you felt better. You had been careful since that first night when he was going to kill himself. You knew once was all it took. You grabbed a couple different tests and paid at the cashier, stuffing everything in your bag when you left. 

Once you got back to the hotel, you went straight into the bathroom to take the tests, setting your timer on your phone as you waited. You tried to keep your mind blank as you sat there and waited, not wanting to even think about it one way or another. You were not going to even consider you were pregnant. It had to be a cold. The weather had changed drastically the last week, maybe allergies made you sick. Although that would be a first for you. 

You noticed your hands were shaking and you wiped a few stray tears away. This is what you hadn’t wanted to happen if you were pregnant. If you were, could you bring a child into this life? No, definitely not. You couldn’t walk away either. That was something that was not possible, not as a Winchester. What would you tell Gabriel? Could you go through with…terminating it if you were pregnant and keep it a secret? 

“Shit…” You sighed heavily and jumped when your phone went off with Gabriel’s ringtone. You looked down at his text.

“How’s the case going? Miss me yet?” Gabe’s text read. 

You smiled despite yourself and texted him back, “I always miss you when you’re not with us. Any leads yet on your end?” The timer went off on your phone the same time your phone rang. You saw it was from Gabriel and swiped to the side to answer it.

“Hey sugarlips, how are you feeling? Change of scenery and fresh air work for you?” Gabriel’s voice drifted from the speaker of the phone. You smiled despite yourself and took a deep breath.

“Not really, I decided to stay in a hotel room while the boys went off to take care of it.” You turned around to finally look at the tests, taking a deep breath and opening your eyes. You went pale as you saw they both said the same thing. “No..no please no..” You trailed off, dropping the phone as you sank onto the tile floor of the bathroom and began crying. Both tests said the same thing. 

You were pregnant.

Gabriel’s alarmed voice was yelling from the phone, “Y/N?! What’s wrong? Cas!”

A few moments later Cas and Gabriel appeared in the bathroom next to you. Gabriel’s eyes wide with worry when he didn’t see you at first, but then saw you crumpled on the floor. He knelt down next to you and wrapped his arms around you, holding you to him as you leaned into him, sobbing. “Hey, what’s wrong, y/n? Talk to me, you’re scaring me.” He spoke softly to you, sliding his hand through your hair and rubbing your back.

Cas just stood there confused and turned around in the small hotel bathroom, seeing the tests on the counter. “What are these sticks with urine on them? And why do they have plus signs on them, Y/N?” Cas being Cas not knowing what they were as he looked at them puzzled.  
You sobbed harder at his question as Gabriel looked up at him. New to being human, he didn’t know what they were, but upon seeing a box that said ‘Easy read pregnancy test’ and he went quiet as he held you. Cas noticed the box the next moment and his eyes went wide himself.  
Cas turned slowly and knelt down next to both of you, reaching his hand out to touch your shoulder, to see if the tests were correct. They were and he sighed and looked at Gabriel, nodding without him even having to ask. 

Gabriel was devastated and terrified. He stood and walked out of the bathroom without another word. A few moments later you heard the hotel room door open and shut as he left.

Which of course upset you more, your stomach rolled as your emotions rolled through you, moving to the toilet and throwing up again. Cas sat there for a moment before laying his hand on your back, his grace seeping into you to make you no longer sick to your stomach. You felt better, but still you were afraid. 

“Is..is it nephilim, Cas?” You finally got out, your voice small and shaking, your attention in the direction that Gabriel had gone to. So many thoughts rolling through your head, not only was it a nephilim but Gabriel leaving you too. Oh god, what about Sam and Dean finding out too?   
You broke down again and Cas pulled you into his arms, rubbing your back gently as you gripped his trench coat. “No, she’s completely human, y/n and very healthy.”

You drew in a breath, wanting Gabriel here with you. “She?” You asked softly, rubbing your face and sighing. Cas merely nodded and you hummed softly, burying your face in his jacket. He held you as you cried for a few more minutes. “Do you know where Gabriel went?” You asked softly.  
Cas was quiet for a few moments and then nodded. “Yes, he is across the parking lot. Sitting under a tree.” 

You sighed in relief, glad he hadn’t gotten too far. “How far along am I?” You got the courage to ask, you already had a general idea, but wanted to be sure.

“Thirteen weeks, y/n.” He said softly and you nodded as he confirmed it. 

You slowly stood and left the bathroom, out through the hotel room and into the parking lot to see were Gabriel was sitting. You took your time walking over to him and stood in front of him. When he didn’t acknowledge you, you knelt down in front of him and took his hand gently in yours. “Hey..” you whispered softly, your eyes searching his.

Gabriel didn’t lift his gaze to you, but you could feel the tension in him. You tugged on his hand and he finally slid his terrified gaze to you. You were afraid too, you had to admit. You opened your mouth to speak but Gabriel cut you off.  
“Are you going to keep it?” He asked quickly, fear in his eyes as his voice cracked. He was conflicted about the news. Happy and scared and terrified and if it was Nephilim, it would have to die. 

“Her, you mean?” You asked back softly. His eyes widened at the new information and dragged his gaze away from you to look down at the ground. He shook some and you moved to sit close to him. Sliding your hand along his face gently, urging him to look at you.   
When he finally flicked his eyes to you, you took a deep calming breath. “A human baby born of a former Archangel and a Winchester would be hunted until the end of her days. This fucked up world we’re stuck in, Gabriel.” You looked down and shook as you sat there. Silent for the moment.

Gabriel’s eyes seemed somewhat relieved that the baby would be human at least. But your other words, it wasn’t like he could argue with your logic. He leaned forward and kissed your forehead softly, taking you into his arms and pulling you onto his lap, holding you close to him. “Okay…you’re right. You’re absolutely right.” He said softly against your hair, it was a nice idea to entertain at least.   
Neither one of you said another thing as you sat there holding on to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are awesome. Even a couple words give me motivation to continue this.


	10. That Saved a Wretch Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now the truth is out and the decision has been made.

You and Gabriel sat quietly for a long time outside before finally moving to go into the hotel room. Cas had left to go help Sam and Dean, not that they had asked for his help, but he knew you and Gabriel needed to talk alone. You left Gabriel’s side to pick up the boxes and sticks from the bathroom and put them in the bag, you started to throw them away but then decided you didn’t want Sam and Dean to know. You put them in your bag and sat down next to Gabriel on the bed.

He reached out instinctively and slid his arm around your waist and held you to him, kissing your head softly. You rested your head against him and slid your arms back around him, yawning a little. Without saying anything you tugged him down onto the bed with you. You were exhausted after everything. You just needed some sleep. You curled into Gabriel’s chest and closed your eyes, slowly starting to drift off to sleep when he finally spoke.  
“Was it the night that I...the...the storm?” He asked hesitantly. It had to be, since it was the only night you guys hadn’t have used protection. He tightened his arms around you when he felt you nod against his chest and sighed deeply. Kissing your head. 

“Cas said...thirteen weeks. It’s a girl.” You repeated to him, hearing him swallow hard, pulling the blanket up around both of you. You wouldn’t normally be sure of the date, but considering Gabriel had tried to kill himself, you would never forget that day for the rest of your life. You began to drift off again and waited before finally deciding to sink into sleep to see if Gabriel was going to ask you anymore questions. When he didn’t you fell into a dreamless sleep, clinging to him.

Gabriel laid there, running his hand along your back as you slept. The fact that you were pregnant with his child, when he wouldn’t have normally entertained that idea before, because Nephilim. But now that you both knew for certain it was human? He knew he hadn’t the news very well at first. A little girl though. That made something in him twist, he wasn’t quite sure what it was, but maybe it was longing. To finally have a family. After watched humans and their families for thousands of years with their own families. He secretly had wanted one of his own. Something to replace that hole in him that had existed since he had fled Heaven and his brother’s fighting. He sighed and buried his face in your hair, holding you closer as he too drifted off to sleep.

You were both awakened a couple hours later when Dean walked into the hotel room, slamming the door open. He didn’t even have to say anything to know Cas had told him about you being pregnant, because he was Cas. You groaned and put your face back into the pillow and sighed, pointing your finger at him. “Dean...just don’t, ok?” Yeah that didn’t go over too well as he opened his mouth. You stood from the bed and looked at him. “Look, a condom broke. Shit happens. The baby is human; I’m getting an abortion. So just drop it okay?” You were trying hard not to cry; Dean didn’t need to know the particulars.

Dean and Sam both gasped at your words but quickly decided not to say anything else. Gabriel came behind you, wrapping his arms around you from behind and holding you. Castiel tilted his head slightly as he watched you. It took a few moments before you turned in Gabriel’s arms and held him back tightly. “Just let it alone for now, Dean-o.” Gabriel said softly, rubbing circles on your back as you cried. “Cas, can you take Y/N and I back to the bunker? Dean and Samsquatch don’t need Y/N right now. Case is over, right?” Both men nodded and Cas came over, sliding his hand onto Gabriel’s shoulder. 

You, Gabriel and Cas appeared at the bunker in the next moment. You wandered off from Gabriel to go into the kitchen, grabbing a soda after wanting a beer. Not that it mattered anymore though, right? You could barely hear Cas and Gabriel talking as you took the top off the bottle and wandered back out, dropping into a chair and sipping from the bottle. You smiled at Cas before he disappeared and looked over, watching Gabriel walk towards you. You were still kind of in shock from…well everything. You watched Gabriel as he knelt down in front of you, taking your hands in his.

“Y/N…I want you to hear me out before you say anything, ok? So don’t interrupt me.” You nodded slightly and swallowed hard. “I’m not ready to talk about what happened in Hell. Cas and I are fairly certain that there is no way to restore my grace, unless Dad Himself comes back from whatever vacation he’s on and does it. I don’t see that happening. You started to protest and he squeezed your hands to silence you. “I left my family because of the fighting. I didn’t think I’d ever find that sense of belonging again until I met you. You pulled me back to myself after Hell. I lost my memories, and saw you with your brothers. You specifically though. You brought it all back.” He took a shaky breath and looked down trying to gather his thoughts.

You got out of the chair and sat down in front of him on the floor, looking into his eyes, bringing his clasped hands up to your mouth, kissing his knuckles softly. 

Gabriel took strength from your touch and presence. He swallowed and continued. “You gave me a place here with you in your family. You’re my family, Y/N. Cas too. Please, we have enough knowledge here, and with your brothers and Cas to keep the baby safe. I want her. I want you to be my wife. I want to be a better Father than mine was.” He took ones of his hands and slid it gently on your stomach. “I know it’s not the ideal situation. I know this is something we can do together though.” He whispered softly, tears rolling down his face.

You slid your hand over his on your stomach and gripped it tightly, swallowing hard and kissing him deeply. You had made your decision, everything he had said made sense and maybe you had doubts about ending it to begin with. After Castiel had told you the baby was a girl, it made it harder to keep the decision. You moved back from the kiss briefly before speaking softly. “Okay, Gabriel. Yes, I want to be your wife. We will be your family.” You said softly, resting your forehead against his.

Gabriel gasped softly and slid his arms around you, before standing with you in his arms and twirling you both about laughing. You squealed in surprise and buried your face in his neck, kissing it gently. “Take me to bed, husband.” You whispered softly against his skin. He groaned at your words and moved to kiss you deeply, taking you in his arms as he carried you into your bedroom, shutting the door behind him.  
“Call me that again.” Gabriel said softly. 

You looked at him mischievously. “What? Oh you mean husband?” You watched his eyes darken with lust and you moaned softly as he pinned you the bed, and then proceeded to make love to you for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel proposed. Now comes marriage.

The wedding ceremony was small and held in the bunker. It wasn’t even a formality, but after Gabriel said he wanted you to be his wife and family. It felt so very…human and right You didn’t even need to buy a dress since you had found one in the Men of Letter’s storage room a few months beforehand. 

It was gold and matched Gabriel’s eyes perfectly. It was stored perfectly and didn’t even smell like mothballs. More that it smelled like cedar, which would make sense seeing the wardrobe it was stored in was cedar.

You had brought it out and decided to keep it, thinking you might need it for a case. Of course that was before you had found out you were pregnant. Before Gabriel had, in his own way, convinced you to start a family. 

So there you were, standing in the bedroom with the dress on, your hair done perfectly. The dress clung to your curves in just the right places and wasn’t too tight on you, despite the fact you were now four months along. You had decided to stay barefoot since shoes were not something you were fond of anyhow. 

Sam and Dean had decided to remain supportive about the whole situation. Well, Dean had taken convincing between Sam, Cas and Gabriel and finally yourself. You understood he was just being the protective big brother. No one, ex Archangel or not, would ever be good enough for you. 

Dean didn’t want to admit that he was looking forward to becoming and Uncle. He grinned when he came back with hunts with Sam and Cas and handed you a bag, finding some cute little dress for the baby. 

“I figure she can borrow Sammy’s hair bows and brush.” One time as you all sat watching a movie one night.  
“ASSHOLE!” Sam said, throwing a pillow from the couch at him.

You and Gabe had burst out laughing at that. “I think you have some pretty ones, Samsquatch.” Gabriel grinned at him. He also found himself with a pillow in the face. You on the other hand had to get up to pee from laughing so hard.

That had been a good night. It was also the same night you had decided you were not going on cases with them for a while. At least until after the baby was born. You rested your hand on your stomach and sighed. You knew you had to think of a name for her at some point. The baby had become the common term of course. You and Gabriel had to discuss that again. 

You brushed your hand down your dress and looked back up into the mirror and smiled again, taking a deep breath. The knock on the door made you startle a little and your eyes shot to the door. “It’s just me.” Dean said as he opened it to peek in. “You ready, Y/N?”

You took a deep breath and nodded as you walked to Dean. He smiled and touched your chin gently. “You look beautiful, little Sis.” You hugged him and he held you for a minute. “Come on. Gabriel is going to start complaining and eat all the cake if we don’t get out here soon.” You laughed and wiped a few tears away, nodding. He slid your arm through his and walked you out. Sam was waiting for you to mirror Dean with your other arm, truly stunned by how his little sister had transformed.

“You look…wow.” Sam smiled and hugged you. “You look perfect.” He added softly, kissing your head. You grinned at him and he wiped another tear from your face.

Gabriel had asked Castiel to preside over the marriage and he was unsure how to do it until you showed him some videos of weddings. Modern ones anyhow. Then Castiel and Gabriel had gone quiet the last few days every time you walked into the room, which made you suspicious. You wondered what they had been up to.

Every time you asked Gabriel he just gave you his Trickster smirk and said, “Nothing doll. Trust me.”

You let it go, thinking for sure it was something little. 

Dean and Sam walked you into the library and you looked up and saw Gabriel with wide eyes, gasping softly as he watched you. He was wearing a gold tuxedo that he had found in the bunker himself. You looked shocked since it matched the dress. It was very old fashioned and you had a hard time not running to his arms. 

Castiel stood next to him, looking slightly different. You realized he wasn’t wearing his trench coat, but a blue three-piece suit that brought out the blue in his eyes. Sam and Dean had worn black three-piece suits for this, each with ties that brought out the green in Dean’s eyes and the hazel in Sam’s eyes. 

You grinned at Gabriel softly and he held his hands out to you as you got closer. Sam and Dean let you go but only after hugging and kissing your head one last time. You smiled at your brothers and went to Gabriel, bowing your head slightly as he went to kiss you. You wanted to wait until after the ceremony for the kiss and he smiled already knowing. He brushed his lips gently over your forehead and held you to him.

“You are truly my match, Y/N.” Gabriel whispered into your ear, moving to face Cas. You squeezed his hands tightly and smiled, tearing up.

“And you are mine, Gabriel.” You returned softly.

You smiled watching and listening to Castiel speak, holding his hand out to Gabriel who took something from his palm. You couldn’t really see it but you wondered.

“Place the rings on each other’s fingers and we will begin.” Cas said softly. Your eyebrows shot up, you hadn’t discussed rings or picked them out at all. You looked quickly to Gabriel you grinned sheepishly at you.

“You think I won’t try to be as human as possible with this?” He grinned at you, you grinned back and he took your hand, sliding on a simple gold band, lined with diamond. “The late engagement ring.” He said and then slid on an elegant gold band engraved with Enochian and feathers. “To show I belong to you.” He whispered, tears in his eyes as he looked into your eyes.

You swallowed hard and he palmed a matching band into your hand for him, also an elegant gold band engraved with Enochian and feather. You slid it onto his finger, your hands shaking. “And I belong to you.” You whispered softly, reaching up and dragging your thumb across his cheek to wipe his tears away. You know you had wanted to wait. But you couldn’t any longer and leaned up and kisses him deeply, holding his face in your hands. He startled and grinned into the kiss, kissing you back, draping his arms around your back and holding you to him.

Castiel stood awkwardly for a moment and then shrugged a bit. “Uhm..I now pronounce you, husband and wife?” Sam and Dean started snickering and you and Gabriel both had the good grace to blush and then pull away from the kiss, laughing.

“Let’s have cake then, shall we?” Gabriel’s eyes lit up more at the idea of cake.

 

Later as you both lay in bed, Gabriel drunk. Dean and Sam had promised to only get him a little drunk. Well...alcohol was sugar and Gabriel enjoyed it quite a lot. He snored next to you and you laid there, your hand resting on the bump on your stomach as you thought quietly, grabbing your phone to check something.

You burst out laughing after a few minutes and Gabriel snorted, looking up after blinking awake. “’Srong? Okay? Is it time for the baby here?” He slurred, to which only made you laugh even harder.

“No. Everything is fine. Go back to sleep.” You kissed his nose softly, laughing seeing his eyes cross. “You’re going to feel like shit in the morning.”

“Hmpf…will not. Cas will fix me if he knows what’s good for him. Feather brained little brother.”  
“Who takes after his feather brained big brother..” You smiled over at him and he hummed, laying his head on your stomach, kissing it softly.

“You don’t listen to her. Uncle Cas will fix Daddy…” Gabriel trailed off and looked back to you, tears forming in his eyes. It was the first time had ever referred to himself as Daddy or Father. Before he had only used those terms for God.

You leaned down and kissed him softly, nuzzling your head against his. “S’ok…you’ll be a good Dad. Besides, Sam and Dean will kick your ass if you’re not. And so will I.” You grinned at him. Trying to not let him be sad. “Want to see what I was laughing at?” Gabriel nodded his head and you showed him your phone. Pointing to the calendar in it. “This was the first night you and I had sex when you were human. The night she was conceived.” You said softly, threading his fingers with yours, you counted forty weeks and pointed to December twenty fifth. “She should be born around here, give or take a few days.” Giggling again as realization dawned on Gabriel’s drunken mind. “I know it’s not the correct date and everything in the Bible and all. But it’s still amusing as hell to me.” Gabriel started laughing softly and held you close.

He started singing softly to your stomach and you held your breath as you listened to him. “The Angel Gabriel from Heaven came. His wings as drifted snow, his eyes…as flame…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy your comments and kudos. And I'm glad you're enjoying the story. <3


	12. Chapter 12

Of course, things couldn’t stay quiet forever. Sam and Dean were getting nervous when Crowley hadn’t been seen nor heard from. Gabriel was always quiet when they brought him up, his golden eyes darkened and he would just leave the room.

You had followed him this last time but had not pushed for an answer, “You don’t have to talk about, Gabe. I just wish you’d let me in is all.” You whispered softly to him in your bedroom, sliding your hand along his face.

“Y/N...I woke up...with no memory, black eyes and Crowley’s pet. I just don’t want to upset you right now about it. After she’s born maybe...” Gabriel whispered back, resting his hand on your stomach as he grew more upset, tears shining in his eyes. 

You slid your hand over his on your stomach and entwined your fingers. The baby took this moment to deliver a powerful kick under Gabriel’s hand that left him smiling and you gasping softly in pain and smiling a bit. “She’s quite the little ass kicker already. Must be the Winchester in her.” You grinned up at Gabriel. He looked offended at this comment.

“I’ll have you know I was kicking ass long before you humans were…” You cut him off and kissed him soundly. A soft giggle escaped your mouth as you moved away from him.

“Yes I know, long before us hairless apes lost our hair.” You smiled at him. “You know; we can’t keep calling her ‘the baby’ when she gets here. I’ve been thinking we should call her Ariel.” It was a name from a Shakespeare play you had always adored, The Tempest.  
Gabriel grew quiet and solemn at your suggestion and blinked some tears from his eyes. “It’s…a beautiful name. My little sister was called Ariel.” He sat down and pulled you beside him. “Lucifer killed her before he fell. Ariel also means ‘Lion of God’” He added softly. “And she was quite the lion too. Always protecting the other seraphs from Lucifer’s wrath.”

You were stunned and had no idea about the name and Gabriel spoke so rarely about his time in Heaven before he fled. Or much about his family at all, other than what you already knew. You swallowed hard past the lump in your throat and rested your head against Gabriel’s. “She seems to be much like her Aunt already. Fierce little thing she is.” You whispered softly to him. Gabriel nodded a bit and held you tightly to him. 

You didn’t want to bring it up, not to break this moment, but you had stayed in the war room while Dean, Sam and Cas had spoken. They were going to summon Crowley. “I don’t want you to get upset, Gabriel.” You started softly, feeling him stiffen under your hands. “The guys are going to summon Crowley. You don’t have to be there of course. I am though, they want answers and he seems to have taken a liking for me, maybe he’ll cooperate more.”

“No, Y/N. I don’t want you there.” He growled fiercely, his golden eyes flashing. “I can’t let him know you’re vulnerable...carrying her. Just no. It’s asking for trouble. And it’s not exactly like you can hide it very well.”

Gabriel was right, you were showing very much now. You were thirty weeks along at this point and looked down to your stomach. You sighed and looked back up to him. “If Crowley kept you, somehow as his pet, it wouldn’t be good for you to be there either.” You added softly. Then again maybe a reminded of what you had done to Crowley and almost turned him human during the trials would make him behave.

“I’ll have you, Dean, Sam and Cas there, Y/N.” Gabriel whispered softly. “I don’t think he’ll be stupid enough to try anything again. I might be human, but Crowley will be lucky to live through fucking with us again.” He growled softly, holding you tighter to him. You nodded against his chest.

 

You were nervous as you stood there in the dungeon. You knew the trap would keep Crowley contained, still, you hand slid over your stomach and sighed. Gabriel squeezed your other hand and smiled nervously at you, sliding his arm around you. Sam and Dean weren’t thrilled with you wanting to be there, but knew you help a certain charm with him. Still with Gabriel and Cas, hopefully this would go off without a hitch.

Crowley appeared after Sam finished the last part of the summoning. He held a glass of Craig in his hand as he gazed upon everyone in the room. Shock registering on his face upon seeing Gabriel who, even though he was now human, still possessed the ability to loom over anyone, like he still had the power of Heaven behind him. Fury danced in his features, but he surprisingly remained quiet. It was when Crowley followed Gabriel’s arm around you that it seemed to lick into place, especially seeing you pregnant.

“Well well well.” Crowley chuckled softly. “Do what do I owe the honor of being summoned for this time?” His eyes remained locked on you. “Y/N, have too much pie, love?” He smirked at you, sliding his grace to Gabriel. “I didn’t know a graceless Archangel could still get it up. Course...as a demon you had no problem with it. He tell you that, love? He might not kiss and tell, but I will.”  
Gabriel turned three shades of red as he stood there and you pulled him back, but it was too late. “You piece of shit. I knew I should have killed you when I had the chance.” Sam and Cas held him back as you glared at Crowley.

“Are you done taunting us or are you going to help, Crowley?” You would be lying if it didn’t bother you a bit of what Crowley intimated about him and Gabriel. Gabriel had told you enough that you knew he had little control over what had happened, nor memory of anything until he saw you for the first time as a demon. Cas had taken Gabriel from the room because he was still shouting things. You knew he was going to pay for what he did to Gabriel.

Crowley turned his gaze on you, and you could already see the wheel turning in his mind, your blood running cold at his gaze. “I think not, in this case. You took my pet from me. Seems like we’re even for a time.” He glared at you, snapping his gaze to Dean.  
“Listen here you dick..” Dean started but that was as far as he got, Crowley disappeared. “Son of a bitch!” He growled out as you left the room to go to Gabriel.

You sighed, rubbing your stomach as Ariel started kicking up a storm. “I know, I know.” You soothed her quietly and slid your arms around Gabriel as he stood shaking in the hall. “You don’t have to talk about it, Gabriel.” You whispered softly to him. His arms quickly went around you and held onto you as if you were the only thing in the world. You winced again when the baby kicked, but Gabriel let a soft laugh pass his lips, as he too was kicked while holding you. “I don’t think she likes you sad.” You whispered softly to him.

Castiel watched with a confused look on his face at how human Gabriel was acting. He wandered off to find Sam and Dean.  
You watched him leave and tugged Gabriel to go back to your bedroom, he stood frozen there for a moment and wouldn’t let you out of his arms. You tried not to be bothered by the look Crowley gave you. But, it did nonetheless.

You all spoke at dinner about what had happened with Crowley and your concerns. Sam and Cas watched Gabriel as he remained silent, none of you brought up Crowley’s comment about them. Gabriel would speak on it in his own time. 

That night as you both laid in bed together, he laced your hands together and began talking a little bit about his time as Crowley’s pet. He still didn’t know how he removed and corrupted his grace to turn him into a demon. But he did speak about how he was treated and used by Crowley. 

You clung to him and wiped his tears away as he recounted the chains and the torture he went through. You kissed him softly when he could talk no more about it, being wracked by sobs and held him to you. He fell into a fitful but deep sleep soon after that. It was the first night that Gabriel hadn’t awoken in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, eyes wild as he searched the room upon waking up. 

The next week went very much, only now Cas was even more determined to help find Gabriel’s grace. They wanted to know what Crowley had done with it. Did it even exist or did he use it for a weapon? None of you could find much of an answer. Castiel did confirm though that Gabriel had a soul, which you already knew. 

Two more weeks passed and you had finally gotten the guys to help you fix up one of the rooms for Ariel. It was right next to yours and Gabriel’s room. Of course you had a bassinet in your room for her to sleep in for the first few months. 

You convinced Gabriel one day to leave the bunker with you. You had gotten sick of being inside most of the time. Yes, it was cold with the snow but you loved it and were absolutely sick of being stuck indoors. Gabriel had learned how to drive and you even let him drive your truck now.

Sam, Dean and Cas all became worried when you didn’t return that evening. You didn’t answer your phones and worst of all, Cas couldn’t find you either. They did find the truck, mangled into a tree with your phones inside after tracking your GPS and finding blood on the seats and steering wheel.

Where the hell had you both gotten off to?

And more importantly, were you even still alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos guys. They give me motivation to continue this. And comments are appreciated as well.


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